Shalom family. Sharing a resource. As I am learning about self awareness, I see how this tool encourages us to note how we feel and try to manage our feelings before we respond to our children. Internal self talk Eg: "I am feeling irritated right now, this is triggering a frustrated response. I prefer to respond calmly. How can I achieve this in this brief moment? Can I hum, put on some soft music (music helps soothe and reorient me) or whisper a Psalm before I respond? What might I choose to do, to achieve my goal of de-escalating a challenging situation and restoring order?"
I also appreciate the reminder about keeping the age of the child in focus and the behaviors that are characteristic of the child's specific age. We might need to put our adult self into the child's shoe to see from his/her perspective. This helps us to adjust our responses as we act from a place of understanding that is sensitive to age specific needs. For example, 3 year olds usually cry -a lot- when they are told 'no'. In helping them through a tantrum, we might shift our goal from immediately demanding that they stop crying to instead helping the small person to calm down in a timely way. So they can listen to what you need to express. (Sometimes, they may need to be allowed some time to cry out the disappointment of hearing "no". I know, patience is not easy! It's ok for us to acknowledge that too.
Jill Chaires
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